Watching Reality Tv

RmlVQxC.gifI found myself lazing around with my mother on a Tuesday afternoon. We stumbled upon America’s Got Talent and while it had its funny moments (a weird pumpkin man dancing sensually)… let me tell you, it’s blatantly fake.

The tragic stories are needed for every season of talent shows because tears mean money. And money is what dictates how hard the judges will clap when they see the woman that got burned in a house fire… but what about the burn victims in hospital right now that can’t hold a microphone and sing? Yes, they’ve been given a voice but we all know that they’re being strung along as a narrative device.

I take personal offense with hearing the word ‘brave’ sometimes. Oh my god, you’re so brave by taking the stage while having some kind of physical problem. YOU’RE BRAVE. I can’t imagine being in that person’s shoes, what are you supposed to respond with after hearing that? Thanks? Thank you supermodels and celebrities for tolerating my deformity for a second?

Secondly, no, not everyone is beautiful and that’s okay, 87% of the world’s population is average. The vanilla flavor of ice-cream. The trend of every band/musician having that one video of showing “unconventional” faces, redheads with tons of freckles, an assortment of big noses, an overweight person, a safe and all-American taste of what’s ‘ugly’. No, ugly can be worse than that. But what’s the point of stating what ugly is? And why must we applaud these artists for being so open-minded and accepting when they’ve spent millions on their bodies and faces? No. Stop profiting on people’s need to be accepted by the masses. If you’re ugly or fat or short or whatever, they’ll never accept you, they’re just building a marketing campaing around embracing our differences. You might be ugly and that’s okay.

It’s funny how up until a couple of years ago, all these shows heavily featured segments where people were being made fun of. Now, the panel of guests and judges is still the same but oh they’re so nice and considerate, they’d never hurt a fly. They’ll tell the kid with acne and the mediocre voice how brave he is.

Fuck being brave for showing your face.

Your face has always been there for you and simply you to accept it, it’s nobody else’s business to make or break you.

I don’t know where this was going, I guess it’s a rant. Yay.


Ultra Regret’s “I Must Lower My Blood Pressure” Compilation Vol. 1

  1.  T. Rex- Monolith If Marc Bolan’s voice can’t soothe, seek a medical professional. Seriously, don’t get me started on Marc Bolan. This whole playlist could just have been T. Rex but I tried to control myself.
  2. Violent Femmes- Confessions The entire essense of pessimism somehow captured onto a song? Very nice.
  3. Rocket From The Tombs- Ain’t It Fun Bad audio quality? Check. Proto-punk? Check. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life? Checks so hard I rip the paper.
  4. The Dandy Warhols- Godless I like songs where the singer barely sings.
  5. PWR BTTM- West Texas Weird kids making cool music.
  6. Mott The Hoople- All The Young Dudes And anthem. Bonus points for mentioning suicide right at the start of the song.
  7. Belle and Sebastian- Piazza, New York Catcher I’ve watched Juno a couple of times and enjoy its acoustic soundtrack, don’t hate me about that.
  8. The Dresden Dolls- Gravity Angsty lady plays angry piano.
  9. Brentom Wood- Oggum Boogum When you need to smile and gyrate your pelvis AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
  10. Backyard Babies- Love It’s not easy to combine radio friendliness, Swedish sleaze rock (they’re all remarkably good at a music genre that’s practically dead) and cigarette vibes. Cigarette vibes is when you’re sad and looking out of a window, wondering about what went wrong.